Chick Confessions

This truly is an amazing photo. Having just ended ...

2012-05-24T16:08:18.998-04:00

This truly is an amazing photo. Having just ended a two-year relationship myself, I can say that love is definitely both a gift and a curse. It brings so much joy but pain at the same time. I would never go back and change the decisions I made because I learned so much from them. I will however aalways love him. The gaping wound in my heart will heal only with time.

More confessions, lovely chicks! I love this whole...

2009-08-08T19:57:36.089-04:00

More confessions, lovely chicks! I love this whole concept...

I think change is always a good thing. When you ge...

2009-07-30T11:56:22.925-04:00

I think change is always a good thing. When you get complacent, you may as well be a zombie just going through the motions. You're on an exciting journey for the rest of your life - enjoy it!

I'm with Liz on this one. Everyone needs to b...

2009-07-30T11:49:38.012-04:00

I'm with Liz on this one. Everyone needs to believe in a little magic!

I wouldn't ban the movies, by the way, I would sti...

2009-05-23T23:12:11.982-04:00

I wouldn't ban the movies, by the way, I would still show them, but together with more realistic movies, so that there'll be a model for how it goes in the real world, or in the modern world. And to make a difference between them, I would tell the kids that this is a little bit silly movie, and this doesn't really happen, or that this movie is quite well done and realistic... And the thing I've heard to be recommended, you should have a conversation with the kid about the movie afterwards, so that they'll be able to map it into appropriate places in their head. (And as I say you, I mean people with kids, as I have none and won't have any, but doesn't stop me from having an opinion!)

As I grew up my parents appeared to never fight, b...

2009-05-23T13:17:19.751-04:00

As I grew up my parents appeared to never fight, because they always did it out of sight, and earshot of us kids. Only once, do I remember them fighting, and my mother locking herself in the bathroom. I remember making the comment years ago, that I wished I had experienced some of the arguments, because you grow up thinking that just doesn't happen in a good marriage, and that is just not so.

These are beautiful movies and should be enjoyed b...

2009-05-22T20:33:42.904-04:00

These are beautiful movies and should be enjoyed by people of all ages. They represent love from a different era. At this time, some women only met a few potential suitors in their entire life. Sometimes they never married but they still loved these stores. They are timeless and show a range of emotions and situations. Little girls need to know how to be disappointed just as much as they need to recognize true love and respect and patience. I say, start the popcorn and get comfortable!

I see what you're saying, but movies provide adult...

2009-05-22T09:44:23.155-04:00

I see what you're saying, but movies provide adults and children an escape from real life and inspire creativity, imagination, and hope. We all need to be able to separate fact from fantasy, yes, but there is no point going through life saying "there is no such thing as a happy ending." True, sometimes you don't get a happy ending but children these days are subject to a cruel world where they are always learning about suffering. Most of these children are not experiencing a fairy-tale home life either. I think kids need some reassurance, even if it is from a movie, that happy endings can exist.

I was lucky enough to know the kind of relationship my grandparents had...it was almost right out of the movie "The Notebook." They were not always happy, but if there were ever two soulmates, it had to be them. They passed away a few years ago, on the same day about 6 hours apart. Neither could stand the thought of living one day without the other. By no means is that a happy ending, it a realistic one. But our whole family takes comfort in the fact that we know that they are together and we were able to wathc true love run its course.

I think you raise a valid point here. There's a th...

2009-05-21T22:00:04.924-04:00

I think you raise a valid point here. There's a thing I've been wondering lately; how can we find a good relationship, if we don't have an idea what it is like? Most of us wouldn't recognize a good guy even if he hit us on the head... (Well, a good guy wouldn't do that of course.) Also, I believe that we get what we create, and we have to be able to visualize the goal we are getting to, or we'll just drift into our future like a boat without a navigation system. Romantic movies don't help.

I would though, show our young movies that show a good healthy relationship, but they are far and between. We get to see the early stages of a relationship, but the credits will start rolling when the girl gets the boy, then what happens? We can't really model a relationship from other people, because nobody is allowed into the private world of lovers, and what looks like a perfect couple to the outside, might not be that in the inside.

Also movies give you the false expectation that for a good romance you need beautiful people, but the most romantic thing I've seen in a movie was played by Robin Williams. He's not ugly of course, but he's not what we would call a Hollywood Heartthrob either. Anyway, in the movie Good Will Hunting he described his life with his late wife with such a heart... And I know that if I would die, my husband would feel a lot like him. Sometimes movie romances ARE based on reality.

I was at a crossroad myself a couple of years ago ...

2009-05-07T15:16:00.000-04:00

I was at a crossroad myself a couple of years ago and I chose to start over. I know the sadness you mentioned and you will find yourself again. I did. One day while I was on the phone with my oldest friend she told me that I sounded like my old self for the first time in a long time. Hearing that made many things click in my head. The road can be hard, or slow, but women have infinite strength, and happiness is worth the journey. Just keep talking to your girlfriends.

It always leaves sadness when we are moving on fro...

2009-05-03T10:11:00.000-04:00

It always leaves sadness when we are moving on from our dreams, expectations, people, relationships, roles. I know all too well this feeling, as I had to release all those things these last couple of years. All I have to look forward to at this point, is the journey that will be laid out ahead of me, as I travel the new road.

~Best Wishes~

I think the important thing to keep in mind is tha...

2009-05-02T12:03:00.000-04:00

I think the important thing to keep in mind is that these feelings are quite normal and part of this crazy life we all lead. The beauty of it is, there is still so much mystery, excitement and change to look forward to no matter what age you are! At the risk of sounding cheesy, tomorrow is a brand new day and who knows what could happen.

Sadness is a necessary evil, but getting through it makes the good times that much better. Keep your head up and stay strong! You're not alone.

There is a lot of wisdom in the comments above. We...

2009-05-02T11:17:00.000-04:00

There is a lot of wisdom in the comments above. We all have to deal with forgiveness many times in our lives. I have not done it well in some instances and it has cost me. Sometimes the price is very painful. I do know this: if you hold on to anger, disappointment, sadness or whatever, it often manifests in physical form. In forgiving, you are not condoning or accepting the action but you are doing your physical and mental bodies a good deed. It's not easy to do but for your own sake, think about it.

Fearless, among your many talents, you are a gifte...

2009-05-02T10:52:00.000-04:00

Fearless, among your many talents, you are a gifted writer. But, it saddens me to know you are sad and going through some sort of life change. I wish you well and send you love and healing.

This post really goes to show the importance of ou...

2009-05-02T06:04:00.000-04:00

This post really goes to show the importance of our girlfriends. When I was at my lowest point, my girlfriends were always there for me. I remember asking one friend, "Is there a point when you wake up and think you just can't do it?" She responded with a smile and said, "No. There will be a point when you say, 'Wow! I made it through it all!'" I always keep this notion with me. My love and good karma to you, Fearless, and to your friend. We are all women who need each other!

I love the man I am seeing, but I don't think I ca...

2009-04-17T12:01:00.000-04:00

I love the man I am seeing, but I don't think I can get along with his young daughter.

Something that I have tried in a particular situat...

2009-04-13T07:38:00.000-04:00

Something that I have tried in a particular situation where I was struggling with forgiveness was to write a letter (do NOT send this) to the person, and let them have it. Say all the horrible things they did that hurt you, how you feel about it, and them. Let it rip! Don't leave anything out. Then write a letter to yourself from them stating their reaction to your letter, and have them say all the things that you need for them to say, and feel.

Also, one thing I have noticed about myself that took me a long time to learn was, even though someone else has hurt me, there is always something about the situation that I have not forgiven myself for. If nothing else, for not being smart enough to realize the need to protect myself in the first place, before whatever it is occurred. There is always something that I need to forgive myself for, and once I do, I find it so much easier to forgive them.

Every time there is a bad feeling within ourselves, it is a signal to me that lurking around in the depths of my mind is a distorted core belief about myself that has triggered this reaction, and I hunt for what it is, and when I figure it out, then I can sooth my inner child.

Love is not about finding the right person, but cr...

2009-04-13T02:54:00.000-04:00

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end. Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.

These comments are actually from PeaM but she coul...

2009-04-10T13:04:00.000-04:00

These comments are actually from PeaM but she couldn't get in to comment:

If he has never given you reason to stop trusting him, than you always should. Generally speaking, women need to talk a lot more than men. Women feel closer to men when they confide their thoughts. Men usually tell you their inner thoughts if it involves you or they are really upset about something. Italians are even more private for a variety of cultural reasons. You will definitely put a strain on things if you continue to bug him. I have been on the receiving end of someone who didn't trust me and questioned me too much. It is annoying and hurt my feelings. You may find that backing off will cause him to open up.

I have a crush on Heike Vaupel.

2009-04-10T08:13:00.000-04:00

I have a crush on Heike Vaupel.

What a great post. Love this lesson; I could defi...

2009-04-08T15:02:00.000-04:00

What a great post. Love this lesson; I could definitely learn from this one!

This is a tough one. I have found myself followin...

2009-04-06T19:48:00.000-04:00

This is a tough one. I have found myself following the idea that I don't let those negative people/situations rent space in my head. I don't like to hold grudges. I try to move forward. However, with every situation, we become changed in way one or another. Is it possible to have a clean slate and still continue a relationship? I'm not sure because those experiences shape us. It's important to move forward, but remember what you have learned from the situation.

Sometimes it's easier to reverse the situation. I...

2009-04-06T16:57:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it's easier to reverse the situation. In other words, pretend that you did whatever it was to another person. Then you wanted them to forgive you for it. What lengths would you go to get that forgiveness? Do you think you deserve forgiveness, or was it something so awful that you can't imagine getting it. If you think that someone else would never forgive you for doing that, then you never will forgive the person you're referring to. If that's the case, just move on and try to forget about it. Holding on to something like that just eats away at your emotional growth. Is it worth it?

It seems that you have come to terms with your dec...

2009-04-05T23:18:00.000-04:00

It seems that you have come to terms with your decision. However, if you are still wrestling with this issue after 2 years, it might do you good to just go with your gut and do what you have to do. You are a strong woman who deserves to be happy. Sometimes there comes a point where you have to put yourself first. Good luck!
Clean slates are refreshing, and sometimes scary, but give you a lot of time for reflection.

I truly think that no matter what size we are as w...

2009-03-19T23:15:00.000-04:00

I truly think that no matter what size we are as women, there is some underlying cultural ideal that keeps us from being comfortable in our own skin. I do not have a weight issue and I think I take good care of my appearance, yet I often feel uncomfortable with my body and my looks when I see myself in the mirror. Go figure.